Light Switches: How difficult can they be?

With the simplest of manipulations, a person can use these clever little devices to reduce the chance of stubbing their toe on something heavy and unforgiving in the dark. We often forget how lucky we are to have such power literally at our fingertips.
Why is it then, that the idiot who wired our house decided that things shouldn’t be as easy as all that?
Firstly, there’s the placement of them; no two switches are positioned the same distance from a doorway and much wall slapping ensues before having to give in, look and then reach the extra foot to get to it. The bathroom has the standard pull cord to turn on half of the lights in the room and then there’s the switch just outside to turn on the other half. The kitchen has only one switch and that’s not reachable from any of the three entrances to it and is not even visible from two of them – including the nearest.
In some rooms we have the traditional style switch with really pointy corners which hurt if you stab at it from the wrong angle. In our living room we have a dimmer switch that needs to be rotated to come on, but doesn’t actually dim. In other rooms there are dimmer switches that need to be pushed in to come on, then can be dimmed to requirements – including the light for the garden…
So, once you’ve located the switch and worked out what the hell you’re supposed to do with it to make it work, you think you’ve got it, but no, there’s more! There’s extra fun where the knob for the dimmer switches likes to come off unexpectedly in your hands, fall and bounce off your toe and bolt under the fridge (or similar large piece of furniture with that gap at the bottom that has the sole purpose of swallowing anything you drop) leaving you with a small peg you can’t turn without pliers and much scrambling on the floor using the light from your mobile phone, trying to find where the bloody thing’s hiding.
 Finally, there’s that moment when your energy saving light bulb pops on and you think: “What’s the point? My mobile did a better job illuminating this room.”
We’ve been living  there nearly five years now, and we’re still slapping at walls that don’t have switches but really should and pushing instead of turning or turning and then fishing under the dresser in the dark for the runaway knob.


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