An Upandownlifting Tale

This is an embarrassing story that I’m actually proud of, in a weird sort of way…

My office sits 144 stairs up on the 6th floor. Normally I use these stairs, but after holidaying in Scotland and blistering my feet going 800m up and down Ben Nevis, that was 144 steps more than my feet were prepared for, so I took the lift.
As I approached the lift, a lady was waiting having already pushed the call button. I joined her and a co-worker of mine walked past to the vending machine.
Lift arrived and the two of us get in, leaving the co-worker still at the machine. The lady got on first and pressed floor five, then asked me what floor I would like. I decided that 24 steps up one floor was adequate for my sore feet and said as much. After further prompting, I went into further detail as to why my feet were so sore.
She then justified her lift usage to me (I don’t know why we felt the need to do this, but hey) and pointed out her massively swollen red insect-bitten foot. At this point the lift doors opened and she got out as I made the socially expected reactions to being shown such a thing. The doors closed and I realised that I was supposed to have gotten off as well.
Down went the lift.
You can’t just push a button for a floor in this building, you have to swipe your ID card, then push the button. This I did for floor 4, which came and went. I did it again for floor 2. Nope. At G, the door opened and the co-worker, now laden with the spoils of the vending machine steps back to let me of.
I felt particularly bold, and informed her that I had no intention of getting off the lift, as I had forgotten to get off it when I was supposed to because I was distracted by a bloated red foot. Bemusedly she gets on and moves to push the button then asks me why they’ve all been pushed. I explained the logical reason why this was the case..
The doors closed.
At floor 2 we stopped and they opened. I look at her sheepishly.
The doors closed.
At floor 4 we stopped and they opened. I stare at the floor, feeling her gaze.
The doors closed.
Finally, we both reached floor 6 and I felt like a right pillock.


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